Saturday, February 12, 2005

So, Here I Am!

Soooo, here I am, after months of family nagging and prograstinating on my part. Jamie has made posts to the internet more user friendly in an attempt to encourage more involvement from his better half.

I have been remiss not only in posts to the web, but in almost all commications this year. The pregnancy and birth of Aysha, as well as teaching a new grade level, have left me with little time for anything extra. I nievely thought I would have a lot of time once I was on maternity leave to catch up, but to my surprise, Aysha requires so much attention, time, and energy, that even finding a few minutes to myself to grab a snack is a challenge.

I go back to work this week Wednesday. I know I'm not ready, but then I'm not sure if even another five weeks off would prepare me. Our nanny/maid has been coming for a few hours each day during the week ever since I came home from the hospital, so I know that she is used to our house-hold routines and Aysha. I can't imagine how I would go back to work without feeling so confident that Sylvia will take good care of Aysha.

When I was in high-school and doing a lot of babysitting, I once told my Mom that if I ever had children, I would like to farm them out until about age two. I was not a baby person! And although I love Aysha beyond words, I am still not a baby person. I will be relieved when she gains a little more independence (can walk) and communicate more effectively. Babies are cute and fun to hold for a few minutes or even hours, but they require all of your time and energy, and aren't nearly as interesting as when they can express their own thoughts. So what I'm saying is that I already can't wait for Aysha to become two! Does that make me a bad mother? I can't help it if it does.