Or so the ultrasound says. I'm estatic! And a little disappointed too - disappointed that Aysha will likely never have a sister, but excited to add another male presence to our family - someone to balance the male/female ratio. I guess the only perfect way would be to have two girls and two boys, so that each child would have at least one brother and one sister. That's what happened in my own family. But it was difficult enough convincing Jamie of a second baby.
In light of rising world populations, Jamie and I agreed from the beginning that it isn't right for families to opt for more than two children - unless they are willing to adopt someone needing a home. With that in mind, I've always maintained that if we had either two boys or two girls, then we would adopt a third child of the opposite sex. Tonight, after finding out that this baby is a boy, Jamie jokingly said something to the effect of "so I guess we won't adopt." His joke surprised me a little, since he has recently been so certain that he doesn't want more than two children. For a second I sensed that he wasn't as dead set against a third child as he'd have me believe. I said, "We could still adopt!" Whether or not we ever do consider adopting - it is certainly not the first thing on my mind these days - I really am delighted to be having a baby boy.
Yet boys are so much more foreign to me. Despite growing up with two brothers, and teaching classrooms always half full of boys, in many respects boys remain just a little less understood. What will it be like to be a parent of a boy? I guess I'm going to find out! And Aysha is going to have a baby brother!
So these are my thoughts at 2:00am. I think I'm too excited to sleep. Earlier this evening I was exhausted from a long day at school, and fell asleep on the bed in Aysha's room as I waited for her to do the same. Then, after moving to our bedroom, I lay awake tossing and turning with thoughts of boys, names (nothing yet chosen), and feelings of excitement. Maybe after writing this blog I'll be able sleep. Sometimes putting jumbled thoughts into words that won't disappear makes it possible to turn them off - the jumbled thoughts, that is. We'll see.